I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
