Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
