i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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