I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
