Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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