her vagine was all disorganized.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
