Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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