If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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