Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
