pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
