Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
