am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
