Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
