I wanna passion pit in your ass
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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