if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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