We're like a lot better than the average bears
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
