In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
