Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
