That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
