the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
