I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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