the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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