my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
