is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
