A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
