Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
