what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
