She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
