it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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