I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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