If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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