We tried having a conversation with our noses.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
