So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
