I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
