No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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