its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
