do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
