I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
