And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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