Christians are straight up FREAKS
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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