Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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