I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
