We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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