I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Screwed.edu
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
