i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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