I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
