don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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