I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
