She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I lost the right to judge tonight
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
