would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize