everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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