New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
