If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize
