if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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