his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
